The Life

Jon realizes:

I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That's all I've ever wanted.

Cured it.

Jon discovered the cure for the common cold:

It involves a fall off a 30 story building. Unfortunately, the side effects are a bit extreme. 

Lasagna

Jon questions:

Oh Garfield, how are are you going to eat all that lasagna?

mind lapse

Jon recognizes:

It's kind of weird. I haven't thought about anything in weeks.

Labor Day

Jon has an epiphany:

There's an even better secondary benefit to the 3-day weekend: Only a 4-day work week.

Video Games

Jon ponders:

If there was a Wii game where you sat around and smoked cigarettes, I'd rule at it.

Monkey Butlers

Jon figures:

If only I had a monkey butler a british accent. Then I'd be truly happy.