Here comes football

Jon anticipates:

We're about to enjoy the greatest time of year.

Shut up

Jon argues with himself:

The voices in my head can't get along today.

The chief

Jon considers:

In Mexico, they'd all call me el Jefe.

Jon the writer

Jon thinks:

I could have written the great American novel if I didn't have to make words go good together.

Jon realizes:

Snow White had one weird fetish.

Big Hits

Jon ponders:

Full Contact Art Direction: I don't know what it means, I just know I'd kick ass at it.

Phones

Jon wonders:

If cell phones cause cancer, why don't they just cure cancer?

New home

Jon considers (in Miami):

The life of a beach bum wouldn't be so bad.

Free Steaks

Jon realizes:

If the best things in life are supposed to be free, I shouldn't have to pay for food.

Loony Cartoony

Jon reminisces:

Bugs Bunny was a cross-dresser, but I don't think he was gay. It's more like bestiality.

Stock footage boobs

Jon knows:

There are few greater joys than accidental nudity when searching for photos.

New Holiday

Jon realizes:

Fantasy Draft Day should be a paid holiday.

Prankster

Jon wonders:

What if Jesus really appears in Enchiladas in Mexico just to mess with people?

Zzzzzzz...

Jon dreams:

You know you're tired when your dreams are about dreaming of sleep.

Busy

Jon feels:

My inbox is perpetually higher the the out.